I'm not doing very well keeping up with this blog. I want some sort of documentation of my process, so I need to get better.
I had a bad day yesterday when I weighed in and had somehow gained two pounds. Why the face? I'm assuming it was water retention, because I can't possibly gain weight when I'm eating 600 calories a day. So that sucked. I'm going to let a few days go by and weigh myself again Wednesday to make sure the number is going in the right direction.
I'm eating soft solid food now. I can easily tell the difference in restriction as opposed to liquids and purees. I can't take much more than a few small bites before I start to feel full. Little Sleevie Wonder is definitely doing his job. I can't eat a whole scrambled egg. I, and sorry if this starts to get gross, couldn't finish two shrimp. I almost did, but I ended up spitting out the last bite instead of swallowing it. I'm terrified of the slimies.
I've learned that I can't have liquids near me when I eat, otherwise I'll mindlessly take a drink. Yeah, learned that one the hard way. Ouch. Watching the clock to make sure I stop drinking half an hour before eating can be annoying, but I understand why I have to do it, and now I've experienced the consequences of drinking while eating. I don't plan to do it again.
I still haven't felt any real hunger, though I did experience some head hunger over the weekend. It was nothing a good fanfic couldn't cure. Thankfully it hasn't come back since. I think it was in response to being able to eat regular food for the first time. My foody brain was all, "Mmmmm... food! We should eat more. Yum!" And my stomach was all, "Yeah, you go ahead and try that. I bet I can change your mind." Then my Edwardy brain was all, "Hey! Clipped Wings and Inked Armor just updated!" Then I read and by the time I finished the chapter is was time for a protein shake and all was well.
Speaking of, it is time for a protein shake now.
Showing posts with label weight loss surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss surgery. Show all posts
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I'm a mess
So many unexpected (no, not unexpected... just... I don't know... just bad, I guess) things have come up for me since I've been going through the process of preparing for weight loss surgery. It's all my fault, though. Before starting this, I hadn't been to a doctor in more years than I care to admit. I can't really complain about the surprises, because if I'd been seeing a doctor, I would have already known about it.
I had very high blood pressure. Not shocking, most overweight people have high blood pressure. But most people also get pills prescribed to take care of it. I didn't, so I had to visit a physician to get a prescription.
My blood test results were awful, too. High overall cholesterol, high LDL, high triglycerides, high glucose (scary pre-diabetes levels). The good news is that nobody seems to be too worried about any of these numbers. If I weren't having surgery they certainly would be, but they have a pretty casual attitude about it saying, "These numbers will come down nicely after surgery."
On the other end, my numbers are low in the things that should be high. I'm severely vitamin D deficient. My nutritionist, whom I love, high-fived me when she saw my vitamin D level and said, "Cool! Lowest I've ever seen!" Heh. They have me on some prescription that's so potent I can only take it twice a week. That's along with a multivitamin that has 200% of the recommended daily allowance. And I take two a day, so that's 400%.
What else? Oh, an irregular heartbeat. Again, they're not too concerned and figure it'll probably go away after I lose some weight. The good news is that everything else looked fine on my ekg.
My surgeon, whom I also love, thinks there's a good possibility that I have a hiatal hernia, which he'll fix during surgery (at no extra cost) since he'll already be in that area. It'll add about 10-15 minutes to the surgery time, so nothing huge.
My hormones are out of whack, which accounts for the lovely chin hair, sideburns, and irregular periods.
My knees and back hurt, I have acid-reflux (some OTC Prilosec has taken care of that)(if it turns out that I have a hiatal hernia, fixing that will help as well), I get out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs (fixing the possible hiatal hernia will help that also), and I'm tired all the time.
So yeah, I'm a mess. The good news is that most of this will be gone (or at least improved) after surgery. Once I made the decision to have surgery, I've never second guessed it. If I do in the next two weeks, I'll have to read this post to remind me of where I'm headed if I don't.
I had very high blood pressure. Not shocking, most overweight people have high blood pressure. But most people also get pills prescribed to take care of it. I didn't, so I had to visit a physician to get a prescription.
My blood test results were awful, too. High overall cholesterol, high LDL, high triglycerides, high glucose (scary pre-diabetes levels). The good news is that nobody seems to be too worried about any of these numbers. If I weren't having surgery they certainly would be, but they have a pretty casual attitude about it saying, "These numbers will come down nicely after surgery."
On the other end, my numbers are low in the things that should be high. I'm severely vitamin D deficient. My nutritionist, whom I love, high-fived me when she saw my vitamin D level and said, "Cool! Lowest I've ever seen!" Heh. They have me on some prescription that's so potent I can only take it twice a week. That's along with a multivitamin that has 200% of the recommended daily allowance. And I take two a day, so that's 400%.
What else? Oh, an irregular heartbeat. Again, they're not too concerned and figure it'll probably go away after I lose some weight. The good news is that everything else looked fine on my ekg.
My surgeon, whom I also love, thinks there's a good possibility that I have a hiatal hernia, which he'll fix during surgery (at no extra cost) since he'll already be in that area. It'll add about 10-15 minutes to the surgery time, so nothing huge.
My hormones are out of whack, which accounts for the lovely chin hair, sideburns, and irregular periods.
My knees and back hurt, I have acid-reflux (some OTC Prilosec has taken care of that)(if it turns out that I have a hiatal hernia, fixing that will help as well), I get out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs (fixing the possible hiatal hernia will help that also), and I'm tired all the time.
So yeah, I'm a mess. The good news is that most of this will be gone (or at least improved) after surgery. Once I made the decision to have surgery, I've never second guessed it. If I do in the next two weeks, I'll have to read this post to remind me of where I'm headed if I don't.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Psych Eval
I've found the pre-op assessments to be interesting so far, but it turns out the psychologist didn't find me to be very interesting. First things first, though.
Before even talking to the psychologist, I had to go through a few tests. One was to determine my current state of mind; the next, I'm pretty sure, was to determine if I'm retarded; the final had a few parts to it, the noticeable ones being whether I'm suicidal, and how closely I follow directions. I guess they want to do all they can to ensure that I'll be successful. If I'm not, I mess up their statistics. I'm happy to report that I'm not suicidal, nor am I retarded, and I have a low risk for failure, according to my test results.
My meeting with the psychologist was pretty short. She asked me about my past, which was when she commented that it wasn't very interesting. Heh. Really, though. My parents are still married to each other, there's no history of alcoholism, drug abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse. I've never been divorced nor have a lost a child. I wasn't bullied as a child or suspended from school. I've never served jail time. I'm just a normal, average person, which equaled Dullsville to her. Maybe she was hoping for some traumatic experience to make her job more interesting. I don't know.
The appointment pretty much ended once I told her I had quit smoking cold turkey a few years ago. We talked for 10-15 minutes after that, but she had already made up her mind that I was an excellent candidate and a low failure risk. She kept coming back to the fact that I quit smoking cold turkey any time I expressed any fear of failing. It was a big DUH to her. "You quit smoking COLD TURKEY! OF COURSE you can do this!"
I fear I'm not painting her in a very good light. I don't mean to do that at all. She was helpful and encouraging. Was the appointment worth $375? Small picture, no. Big picture, in which her recommendation gets me one step closer to the surgeon deciding I'm a good candidate? Hell yeah.
I have my meeting with the surgeon on Thursday. I have a million questions that I've written in a notebook so I don't forget any of them. My research on the surgeons at this facility (I'm not sure yet which one will be my primary surgeon) tells me that they are very open and patient with questions, and want to make certain you understand everything before moving forward. That's good to know, because I'm going to have my list of questions in front of me, and don't plan on leaving until they've all been answered.
Tomorrow I'm going to call to find out which surgeon I'll be meeting with as well as what I should expect, and what they expect from me.
Before even talking to the psychologist, I had to go through a few tests. One was to determine my current state of mind; the next, I'm pretty sure, was to determine if I'm retarded; the final had a few parts to it, the noticeable ones being whether I'm suicidal, and how closely I follow directions. I guess they want to do all they can to ensure that I'll be successful. If I'm not, I mess up their statistics. I'm happy to report that I'm not suicidal, nor am I retarded, and I have a low risk for failure, according to my test results.
My meeting with the psychologist was pretty short. She asked me about my past, which was when she commented that it wasn't very interesting. Heh. Really, though. My parents are still married to each other, there's no history of alcoholism, drug abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse. I've never been divorced nor have a lost a child. I wasn't bullied as a child or suspended from school. I've never served jail time. I'm just a normal, average person, which equaled Dullsville to her. Maybe she was hoping for some traumatic experience to make her job more interesting. I don't know.
The appointment pretty much ended once I told her I had quit smoking cold turkey a few years ago. We talked for 10-15 minutes after that, but she had already made up her mind that I was an excellent candidate and a low failure risk. She kept coming back to the fact that I quit smoking cold turkey any time I expressed any fear of failing. It was a big DUH to her. "You quit smoking COLD TURKEY! OF COURSE you can do this!"
I fear I'm not painting her in a very good light. I don't mean to do that at all. She was helpful and encouraging. Was the appointment worth $375? Small picture, no. Big picture, in which her recommendation gets me one step closer to the surgeon deciding I'm a good candidate? Hell yeah.
I have my meeting with the surgeon on Thursday. I have a million questions that I've written in a notebook so I don't forget any of them. My research on the surgeons at this facility (I'm not sure yet which one will be my primary surgeon) tells me that they are very open and patient with questions, and want to make certain you understand everything before moving forward. That's good to know, because I'm going to have my list of questions in front of me, and don't plan on leaving until they've all been answered.
Tomorrow I'm going to call to find out which surgeon I'll be meeting with as well as what I should expect, and what they expect from me.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Nutritional Assessment
Well, I don't actually know what type of assessment the nutritionist made, but I think I passed. She mentioned that she would be seeing me a lot in the future, so I'm assuming it's a go.
The time was pretty evenly split between her asking about my eating habits and letting me know how I will eat after the surgery. She did a lot of probing to find out if I'm a binge eater. I am not. I'm more of a grazer. That actually ended up being a good thing. The sleeve surgery doesn't work well for bingers, because they can end up over-stuffing and getting sick or even popping staples if they go too overboard.
Overall it was both comfortable and horrifying. We sat at a round table and just talked about eating habits, expectations, willingness to work for it, things like that. She introduced me to how I would eat after the surgery, what was most important in my post-op diet (protein!), products that will help me to get in all the protein I need, approximate meal size... things like that. That was the comfortable part.
The horrifying part was weighing and measuring me. Bleh. I weighed myself before going, and I've been doing weekly weigh-ins for the past couple of months, so the number wasn't a surprise to me. I just didn't love sharing that number with someone. But she is the one who will be tracking my progress after surgery, so she had to know. Still. Horrifying.
Surprisingly, when I asked if I should be doing any special diet right now, she said no. I'll eventually go on a low carb diet for two weeks before my surgery, which is standard to shrink the liver, but before then it was almost like, "Live it up while you can!" Not really. She did mention that if I lose weight before the surgery, it makes it easier for the surgeon, but there was no calorie or fat counting program she recommended.
All in all, it was fairly interesting. I didn't say anything stupid or fall or break the scale, so yay!
The time was pretty evenly split between her asking about my eating habits and letting me know how I will eat after the surgery. She did a lot of probing to find out if I'm a binge eater. I am not. I'm more of a grazer. That actually ended up being a good thing. The sleeve surgery doesn't work well for bingers, because they can end up over-stuffing and getting sick or even popping staples if they go too overboard.
Overall it was both comfortable and horrifying. We sat at a round table and just talked about eating habits, expectations, willingness to work for it, things like that. She introduced me to how I would eat after the surgery, what was most important in my post-op diet (protein!), products that will help me to get in all the protein I need, approximate meal size... things like that. That was the comfortable part.
The horrifying part was weighing and measuring me. Bleh. I weighed myself before going, and I've been doing weekly weigh-ins for the past couple of months, so the number wasn't a surprise to me. I just didn't love sharing that number with someone. But she is the one who will be tracking my progress after surgery, so she had to know. Still. Horrifying.
Surprisingly, when I asked if I should be doing any special diet right now, she said no. I'll eventually go on a low carb diet for two weeks before my surgery, which is standard to shrink the liver, but before then it was almost like, "Live it up while you can!" Not really. She did mention that if I lose weight before the surgery, it makes it easier for the surgeon, but there was no calorie or fat counting program she recommended.
All in all, it was fairly interesting. I didn't say anything stupid or fall or break the scale, so yay!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Trials of organization
Last night I got the brilliant idea that I needed a binder to keep all my weight loss surgery (WLS from here on out) information organized. I've got things for the nutrition portion, psych, exercise, surgeon, pre-op, and post-op. Too much to keep organized without a binder. I also realized that I needed a printer so I could print stuff to put in my binder.
I was out bright and early to make my way to Staples. Fun! I found an inexpensive all-in-one printer/copier/scanner, which was more than I really needed, but there's no such thing as just a printer anymore, at least not at Staples. I also bought some regular and three-hole paper, binder clips, paper clips. a notebook, pens, post-its, manila folders, and binder tabs/separators. It really was a joy. I like shopping for stuff like that.
I started setting up the printer right away when I got home. I first had to clear off a spot for it on my desk, which was no simple task, but it wasn't that bad. I got the printer set up with no major issues, and all that was left was installing the software on my laptop. That should be the easiest part. It was not.
For some stupid reason (eventually I realized that stupid reason's name is Vista), it wouldn't read the CD. I kept trying and trying, but nothing. This made me unhappy. I started to lose it. Words were shouted. "Motherfuckingcocksuckingbastardsonofabitchpieceofshit! FUCKING WORK ALREADY!" Then came the tears. "All I want out of life is to put a binder together to keep my information organized, but NOOOOOOOOOO. I can't even get the damned CD to work. Why can't one thing ever go right for me?" Yes, I realize I was a bit melodramatic. It was a moment. Not a proud moment, mind you, but a moment.
I finally took a few deep breaths and visited the website of the printer's maker. Good choice. They had the info there on what I needed to do to get it to work with Vista, and I had to download the drivers from the site. Things were looking up.
Then I tried to print something. *sigh* It wasn't the end of the world or anything, but the three-hole paper doesn't work properly in this printer. If I put it in the wrong way, it prints just fine, but the holes are on the wrong side. When I put it in so the holes are on the correct side, it jams. Or at least it claims to be jammed. What really happens is that the paper is shoved through without printing, but it says it's jammed. Grrrr.
I found that I can go into print setup and have it rotate 180 degrees when it prints, which isn't such a big deal, but why the heck can't it just take the paper so the holes are on the correct side in the first place? Sheesh!
The good news is that I now have my different forms and other info printed, and I'm ready to put it all in The Binder, which is exciting.
That's my story for today. Tomorrow I visit the nutritionist.
I was out bright and early to make my way to Staples. Fun! I found an inexpensive all-in-one printer/copier/scanner, which was more than I really needed, but there's no such thing as just a printer anymore, at least not at Staples. I also bought some regular and three-hole paper, binder clips, paper clips. a notebook, pens, post-its, manila folders, and binder tabs/separators. It really was a joy. I like shopping for stuff like that.
I started setting up the printer right away when I got home. I first had to clear off a spot for it on my desk, which was no simple task, but it wasn't that bad. I got the printer set up with no major issues, and all that was left was installing the software on my laptop. That should be the easiest part. It was not.
For some stupid reason (eventually I realized that stupid reason's name is Vista), it wouldn't read the CD. I kept trying and trying, but nothing. This made me unhappy. I started to lose it. Words were shouted. "Motherfuckingcocksuckingbastardsonofabitchpieceofshit! FUCKING WORK ALREADY!" Then came the tears. "All I want out of life is to put a binder together to keep my information organized, but NOOOOOOOOOO. I can't even get the damned CD to work. Why can't one thing ever go right for me?" Yes, I realize I was a bit melodramatic. It was a moment. Not a proud moment, mind you, but a moment.
I finally took a few deep breaths and visited the website of the printer's maker. Good choice. They had the info there on what I needed to do to get it to work with Vista, and I had to download the drivers from the site. Things were looking up.
Then I tried to print something. *sigh* It wasn't the end of the world or anything, but the three-hole paper doesn't work properly in this printer. If I put it in the wrong way, it prints just fine, but the holes are on the wrong side. When I put it in so the holes are on the correct side, it jams. Or at least it claims to be jammed. What really happens is that the paper is shoved through without printing, but it says it's jammed. Grrrr.
I found that I can go into print setup and have it rotate 180 degrees when it prints, which isn't such a big deal, but why the heck can't it just take the paper so the holes are on the correct side in the first place? Sheesh!
The good news is that I now have my different forms and other info printed, and I'm ready to put it all in The Binder, which is exciting.
That's my story for today. Tomorrow I visit the nutritionist.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Drumroll
It's been awhile, I know, but I've made my decision. Before I get to my decision, here's what I've been up to. There's not a big story or anything. I've just been researching the surgery options as well as the facilities in the area and the different costs. The cost didn't vary much from place to place. $20,000 is the norm. The couple of places that were a few thousand dollars less didn't have as much follow-up built into the pricing, so I would end up paying in the end anyway. So, after a lot of online research and a few seminars for different facilities, here's what I've come up with.
I'm getting the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Factors that went into my decision include rate of complications, side effects, and necessary follow-up. The lap band is the least invasive procedure with the lowest probability of complications during or immediately after the surgery, but I've read too many horror stories of longer term complications, with the band slipping or eroding, needing adjustments, fills... not for me. The gastric bypass has the quickest weight loss, because it's both restrictive and malabsorptive (the sleeve and lap band are restrictive only), but there's a hospital stay involved, and side effects that you don't really consider until you do your research. You need to take more supplements because you don't absorb most of the nutrients you take in, and there's a higher likelihood of things like hair loss. Again, not for me. I think the sleeve gastrectomy is the best option. It's not without risks, complications, or side effects, but nothing is. I had to choose what's best for me.
I've also decided where I'm getting it done. I chose the facility and surgeon based on several factors, including complication statistics, satisfaction of other patients, the out-patient option, and the follow-up included in the cost. I have my first consultation with the surgeon on Oct. 1st. Before then I have nutritional and psych evals. That oughta be interesting, particularly the psych one. I wonder what types of questions they'll ask. I guess I'll find out soon enough.
It's all starting to feel real to me now, and it's exciting. I never thought I could get excited over something like this, but it's increasingly feeling like the only option. I've been eating right and exercising pretty regularly for the past month and a half, and I've lost 14 pounds, but that doesn't seem like enough, and my downfall is always impatience. The surgery will help me to lose the weight faster and keep me from saying "fuck it" and eating a bag of Funyons.
So that's where I am. I need to talk to my friend about the financing, and he needs to have some questions answered about liability, and I think that's the only thing that could hold this up. Other than that, the ball is rolling and I'm looking forward to finding the new me.
I'm getting the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Factors that went into my decision include rate of complications, side effects, and necessary follow-up. The lap band is the least invasive procedure with the lowest probability of complications during or immediately after the surgery, but I've read too many horror stories of longer term complications, with the band slipping or eroding, needing adjustments, fills... not for me. The gastric bypass has the quickest weight loss, because it's both restrictive and malabsorptive (the sleeve and lap band are restrictive only), but there's a hospital stay involved, and side effects that you don't really consider until you do your research. You need to take more supplements because you don't absorb most of the nutrients you take in, and there's a higher likelihood of things like hair loss. Again, not for me. I think the sleeve gastrectomy is the best option. It's not without risks, complications, or side effects, but nothing is. I had to choose what's best for me.
I've also decided where I'm getting it done. I chose the facility and surgeon based on several factors, including complication statistics, satisfaction of other patients, the out-patient option, and the follow-up included in the cost. I have my first consultation with the surgeon on Oct. 1st. Before then I have nutritional and psych evals. That oughta be interesting, particularly the psych one. I wonder what types of questions they'll ask. I guess I'll find out soon enough.
It's all starting to feel real to me now, and it's exciting. I never thought I could get excited over something like this, but it's increasingly feeling like the only option. I've been eating right and exercising pretty regularly for the past month and a half, and I've lost 14 pounds, but that doesn't seem like enough, and my downfall is always impatience. The surgery will help me to lose the weight faster and keep me from saying "fuck it" and eating a bag of Funyons.
So that's where I am. I need to talk to my friend about the financing, and he needs to have some questions answered about liability, and I think that's the only thing that could hold this up. Other than that, the ball is rolling and I'm looking forward to finding the new me.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
24 Hours Later
I still haven't made up my mind. I guess I shouldn't get too impatient with myself. This is a life-altering decision. I don't have to make it in a day.
I believe that if I do go through with it, I'll get the sleeve. Of course, after consulting with the surgeon, that may change, but that's what I'm leaning towards. I'm definitely at least going to the first clinic to get some more information. I'm about 75-25 in favor of surgery right now. It's scary, it'll change many things about my life, but what the hell am I clinging to, anyway? Barring unforseen complications, the good will far outweigh the bad.
Next step: fill out an online medical history thingy that they need before they set me up for my first appointment.
I believe that if I do go through with it, I'll get the sleeve. Of course, after consulting with the surgeon, that may change, but that's what I'm leaning towards. I'm definitely at least going to the first clinic to get some more information. I'm about 75-25 in favor of surgery right now. It's scary, it'll change many things about my life, but what the hell am I clinging to, anyway? Barring unforseen complications, the good will far outweigh the bad.
Next step: fill out an online medical history thingy that they need before they set me up for my first appointment.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Weight Loss Surgery Seminar
Well, it wasn't what I expected, though it makes sense that it was what it was. The seminar was put on by a specific hospital, so of course it was all about why I should choose them to do my surgery. There was a brief explanation of the most common types of weight loss surgery, but for the most part it was "here's why we're the best."
Actually, at first it was "here's why surgery is a good option." And they did their job very well, totally selling me on the concept. Very early on the surgeon made his argument for why choosing the surgical route isn't failure, so either he read my entry from earlier today, or I'm not the only one who feels that way. His presentation made sense to me, his statistics showing why it's the only proven way to go made sense to me, hell he even did a pretty good job at convincing me he's the best man for the job. If he's as good a surgeon as he is a salesman, I would be in very good hands.
What this didn't do is help me to decide which procedure would be best for me, which is what I was hoping would happen. In fact, he said they generally go with whatever your gut instinct is on what you want, though of course if you ask he'll give his opinion on what he thinks is best.
It did help me to rule out the lap band, which is funny, because that seemed to be what they were pushing most. It's the least invasive, which is certainly a bonus, but it requires the most follow-up. You have to keep going in for adjustments. It's also the slowest in terms of weight loss. Typically it takes 2-3 years to lose what you would in about a year with the gastric bypass or the sleeve.
I'm glad I went, but I'm not closer to a decision now than I was yesterday. Ugh.
Actually, at first it was "here's why surgery is a good option." And they did their job very well, totally selling me on the concept. Very early on the surgeon made his argument for why choosing the surgical route isn't failure, so either he read my entry from earlier today, or I'm not the only one who feels that way. His presentation made sense to me, his statistics showing why it's the only proven way to go made sense to me, hell he even did a pretty good job at convincing me he's the best man for the job. If he's as good a surgeon as he is a salesman, I would be in very good hands.
What this didn't do is help me to decide which procedure would be best for me, which is what I was hoping would happen. In fact, he said they generally go with whatever your gut instinct is on what you want, though of course if you ask he'll give his opinion on what he thinks is best.
It did help me to rule out the lap band, which is funny, because that seemed to be what they were pushing most. It's the least invasive, which is certainly a bonus, but it requires the most follow-up. You have to keep going in for adjustments. It's also the slowest in terms of weight loss. Typically it takes 2-3 years to lose what you would in about a year with the gastric bypass or the sleeve.
I'm glad I went, but I'm not closer to a decision now than I was yesterday. Ugh.
What to do?
After an open and honest talk with my friend the other night, I've decided to consider weight loss surgery. I'm going to a seminar this evening to get information on the different options to see which one, if any, is right for me.
This is a huge step, as I've always been hung up on losing weight on my own. There's a part of me that feels like I've failed (there's that word again) if I get surgery. Other people do it without surgery, why shouldn't I be able to do it, too? But I've been trying, off and on, for ten years now, and yes, I've lost some weight in there, but I've always gained it back and then some. I'm failing anyway, so I may as well fail in a different way that gives me a better chance at succeeding, right? And isn't the statistic that something like 90% of people who lose weight by dieting gain it all back within five years? Wouldn't the life change that comes with surgery make it more likely for me too keep it off? It almost seems like the obvious choice.
If only it were that simple. There's more to this decision for me. I have no health insurance, nor do I have the cash lying around to pay outright for the surgery as well as the tests, checkups, et cetera that go with it. What I do have, however, is a friend-- the same friend who convinced me that I should at the very least consider the surgery option-- who has offered to loan me the money to pay for it. Beyond that, he offered to go to consultations with me and help me out however he can. And he's enthusiastic and encouraging. I know, right? How fucking lucky am I to have a friend who is willing and able to help me this way? There's another whole post about this somewhere along the line.
That being said, I honestly don't know if I can do it. I checked out the the estimated cost of the different surgeries without insurance to cover any of the costs, and it's $18,000-$35,000. Holy shit. It makes me almost barf just thinking about borrowing that much, no matter how many times I'm told that the money isn't an issue.
So. Tonight I see my options and at least start thinking about whether surgery is the right option for me. If I decide that it is, then I move on to the next step- deciding whether I can go through with borrowing the money for it.
This is a huge step, as I've always been hung up on losing weight on my own. There's a part of me that feels like I've failed (there's that word again) if I get surgery. Other people do it without surgery, why shouldn't I be able to do it, too? But I've been trying, off and on, for ten years now, and yes, I've lost some weight in there, but I've always gained it back and then some. I'm failing anyway, so I may as well fail in a different way that gives me a better chance at succeeding, right? And isn't the statistic that something like 90% of people who lose weight by dieting gain it all back within five years? Wouldn't the life change that comes with surgery make it more likely for me too keep it off? It almost seems like the obvious choice.
If only it were that simple. There's more to this decision for me. I have no health insurance, nor do I have the cash lying around to pay outright for the surgery as well as the tests, checkups, et cetera that go with it. What I do have, however, is a friend-- the same friend who convinced me that I should at the very least consider the surgery option-- who has offered to loan me the money to pay for it. Beyond that, he offered to go to consultations with me and help me out however he can. And he's enthusiastic and encouraging. I know, right? How fucking lucky am I to have a friend who is willing and able to help me this way? There's another whole post about this somewhere along the line.
That being said, I honestly don't know if I can do it. I checked out the the estimated cost of the different surgeries without insurance to cover any of the costs, and it's $18,000-$35,000. Holy shit. It makes me almost barf just thinking about borrowing that much, no matter how many times I'm told that the money isn't an issue.
So. Tonight I see my options and at least start thinking about whether surgery is the right option for me. If I decide that it is, then I move on to the next step- deciding whether I can go through with borrowing the money for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
